Homosexuality

This is a tough topic for me. I've had many gay friends in the past and there are gay people in my family. On this topic I tend to get blown around like a reed. The thing is I have two minds on the subject. I don't want to approve of something that I believe God has condemned just for the sake of not offending a person, and I don't want to offend needlessly.
As it stands my view is that the rules of Christianity are laid down for Christians. When the Bible says to act a certain way toward your brother (as in pointing out his sin, or rebuking him), it means fellow Christian. So when secular people want to allow homosexual marriages I tend to see no reason why they can't do it. But when people claim to be Christian, I believe the Bible to be quite clear that homosexual behaviour is to cease.

Notice I said behaviour. I do not believe that being attracted to men is a sin, it's only when that attraction is acted on and a man shares his bed with another man or burns with lust for another man that it becomes sin. And I think it's the same way for heterosexuals. I'm a married man. If I am attracted to a woman who isn't my wife, how can I help it? I can't. I don't think this is sin. It's only if I dwell on the attraction, or worse, act on it and commit adultery that I have sinned.
My reason for not wanting to sin has a few facets. The largest being that I don't want to offend Christ and belittle his sacrifice for me. I also don't want to cause confusion among younger Christians who are trying to learn about the faith and God. Lastly, I believe that God's rules are set for a reason and breaking them will always have negative consequences. I'm not worried about going to hell because I've accepted Christ's offer of salvation, so, as far as I know, that's not a possibility for me unless I conciously reject Christ and renounce my faith.

The Bible states that we are to have no part with those who work iniquity. If a brother sins we are supposed to confront them with it one on one and show them their sin, at which point they repent of it and begin a journey away from it (which may take their entire life), or, if they refuse to repent, it is my understanding that they be put out of the church until they change their minds. The reason for this is that unrepentant sinners endager the faith of those around them. It's not a matter of saying "we're better than you." It's a matter of saying, we love you as we love the rest of this church, and as such we can not condone this sin. Come back when you are ready to let go, we'll be here to help. I freely admit that this is not the way it is handled in most cases. Depending on which church you attend, sin tends either to be ignored, condoned, or viciously judged. But that sin is not properly handled within the church is in no way a fault of Christianity and Christianity should not be blamed and hated on the basis of people who mistreat it.

I think that I should end this post by saying that all people, Christian or not homo or hetero, have been created in the image of God. It's because of this that they are deserving of a certain amount of respect. Respect, contrary to popular belief, is not condoning every action their heart desires, but through love, trying to bring them into proper behaviour. However, it should also be noted that people are not to cast pearls before swine. In other words, the gospel and the Word of God are precious, but there are those who have no appreciation for it, just as swine have no appreciation for pearls and will just trample them underfoot. We are not to give them that opportunity with the Word of God. I believe this means there is a point at which Christians are not to continue evangelizing a person, but rather leave the person and move on, allowing God to do whatever is his will with that person.

If anyone has any points on this topic that I may not have considered, please share them respectfully. I know this topic has the tendency to breed anger but please be master of your emotions, rather than the other way around.